Ok, I think you are all very smart and perverted people (as am I). So I come to you with a question. I am expecting my first child in August (yes, thank you in advance). My problem is that "Mommy" sounds foreign and awkward. I would really feel more comfortable being called "Father" or "Dad". I do not "pass", nor am I a FtM. I'm butch, but it's obvious I am a woman.

What does everyone think about this? Hopefully one day I will meet someone who will love me and my child enough to become "Mommy" to her or him (or hir).

How can I deal with this in my conservative community? I'd rather not move to a city. I own my own home and the schools are nice here.

Help! I need other opinions by August. Any assistance will be greatly appreciated.

God, gender rigidity sucks.

Arizona

Post Extras:

Also, I would like to say that I have an amazing relationship with my father, and that is also a factor in wanting to be called Dad. I love my Mom as well, but I am my father's daughter. Almost everything I do is from him. I wanted to grow up and be just like him.

Thanks in advance for any help on this matter. ssspread kicks booty!

Arizona

Post Extras:

You could have the little one call you "Pa"....I always loved that name. Reminds me of those noble cowboy dads from Bonanza and Branded. If anyone asks, tell them it's short for "Parent"....just a suggestion. I'm sure your dad is very proud of you!

Post Extras:

Heya Dad! For now, by all means teach your child the term that means the most to you. I'm guessing your kid will determine what they want to call you by the time they're old enough to be taken very seriously by your surrounding community. 'Til they reach a mobile, slightly more independent stage, much of what they say is gonna be accepted as 'cute', and it'll be contextualizable by you or another caregiver most of the time you're out in public together. If your neighbors want to find reasons to be weird and homophobic, odds are they can find said reasons no matter how gender-normative your child's language is. Go daddy go!

Post Extras:

Yo Bro,
Have 3 kids Myself. 16, 15, 7. The 2 oldest are My bio children. All call Me Pop, have since they were little. Has caused some problems with them in school now that they're older...but they've been raised right and handle it well.
Teach the children well. In doing so, society learns. It'll come back 10 fold to the positive.

Post Extras:

Daddy: People will find any number of reasons to trespass in your life. The name your child will call you seems like it might be one of those minor issues that most will just see as odd. I would have the same problem as you have with Mom (or Dad for that matter). Both are gendered, normative titles. If I had a child (which I don't) I think I'd just have her/him call me by my first name. Either that or a completely made-up name (like, "Zappy" or some nonsence word) that has no gender specificity, to be replaced by your own name in time. It's not because you called him "Dad" that you love your father - it's because he's a great person who loves you and has always treated you with respect (my projection, but probably accurate).

Chaos is right. Teach the children well and maybe those around them will learn. That's the thing. Whether you want to be or not, by default, just being queer, you'll always be teaching someone something.

Post Extras:

Zeena ~ Loved that last part you wrote about how just by being queer we'll always be teaching someone something, whether we intend - or want! - to or not. Of course this includes teaching ourselves/coming into our own being as we're going along, then growing more and rediscovering ourselves all over again as we progress through our lives. Well put! What does the original poster have to say to the continued discussion?

Post Extras:

Where is the daddy? Have you decided on what you are going to be called? I've wondered from time to time. Care to share any more?

Post Extras:

I have been in relationships with others - that have children. My partners' children have called me by my first name. In your case, the child will be your own, I would recomend that you look toward other languages for your clues on what you would like to be called. No matter what you will be called, Ma, Pa, you will be a good parent as long as the child will be rasied with love, and respect.

Post Extras:

Some children do kirl their parents by their first name; this might be a good solution here if you (and your child) can live with it.

Post Extras: