I'm not sure what I want to ask, or what I have to say is a question at all, but here it goes.

I have issues with my body. I feel that I have weight and skin problems. I know that it's not unique. These negative feelings I have came up again because of Pride month. I have friends that have casual sexual encounters or go to bath nights and I'm always bailing out or avoiding those types of events. Pride was particularly hard because I ended up at home alone watching tv when that's the last place I wanted to be.

The problem I am having is that I don't know if I'll ever get past the issues I have with my body, I've accepted that much. If I never break out of my shell I want to at least stop being depressed by it.

All my friends/family give the same advice. They deny that there are problems with my body or tell me to get over it. No advice has been helpful so far. What do you think about what I'm going through? Have any advice that might be more helpful?

Edited by ForumMaster on 07/08/01 02:52 PM (server time).

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Dearest Anonymous,

Oh honey, if I could only count the number of times I've heard from people with similar questions...it's enough to break a girl's heart. The most important thing is that sexiness isn't about your body or skin or your outside at all. Sexiness comes from confidence, in my opinion. Your perceptions about yourself are keeping you from gaining the confidence you need to go strut your stuff. You need to take baby steps for now. Treat yourself to something special...either a spa day or go buy some new clothes. If those activities foster your insecurities, then find something that will make you feel good about yourself. It could be something as simple as seeing a good film. Make this a social event though...take a good friend with you. Afterwards, go to bar where you can test out some flirtations. You can take it slow, but keep making progress. When you feel like just staying home in front of the TV, ask yourself if it's fear that's keeping you there. If so, defy it. You're the only one that can take down these barriers...you're the one that put them there, afterall. Write back in two weeks, and let me know how you're doing. Good luck.

Sister ssspread

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Hey now,

Just look at some of the overweight women on this site, some of the nerdy women, and sometimes just plain silly. They are all glorious. Rolls and all. I am a massage therapist and I see naked women all of the time. They are beautiful. Airbrushed, siliconed, trimmed, lifted, ugh... Give me saggy tits, gray hair, hairy legs and pits, round bodies any day over fake bodies. We are real. WE ARE REAL. Baby, you are real. Look at the fist club women, ayyyaaa. Not everyone is nymph or angelina, and thank goddess for that. We'd be bored to tears if everyone looked like that. Goddess knows, i do love them, though (more please). I digress... I'm big, and that may prevent me from wanting to do a ssspread, but honey, it's not going to prevent me from pleasures of the flesh. Honor yourself. In whatever shape you're in, honor yourself. Fist club really helped me with a lot of body issues. I thought, 'how beautiful they are' and then I realized, 'they look a bit like me', then I told all of my interested friends about ssspread, and now we're all on the mend.
Redemption - the goddess gift to us. we are beautiful and so are you.

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i enjoy all types of women. i never look at the exterior, i look at the inside. beauty is in the eye of the beholder. get out and enjoy life. i'm sure you have so much to offer to someone who sees you as you are......beautiful. nymph

variety is the spice of life.

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I enjoy a woman with something to hold onto personally. I also find the slide shows of sensual women with some extra weight to be the most pleasing.

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Going against the grain a little,

I'm NOT overly happy with the way I look. I'm also at a point where it's supposed to matter but I could really care less. Attitude helps carry looks. I know a few butches who are beautiful because of their attitudes. I haven't had the chance to sit down with them and ask them, but they truly show their beauty from their personality. You sound like you're a little unsure of yourself, and that's okay.

At some point though, you're going to have to realize that only you can truly be happy with yourself, or change yourself.

For me, I stopped paying attention to things like appearence and slowly I've grown to just not care, which is better IMO than self hate.

Sascha Illyvich
~~~
"Talking Sense" column at https://ssspread.com to be launched on
January 10th, 2003!

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