Okay, I am need of some advice. I have been out as butch for almost twelve years, and I've always maintained my top status in the bedroom. However, I have recently entered into a relationship with a femme who likes to top...it's not that I'm not interested, it's just that I am having some issues. I guess I'm embarassed, or maybe just anxious about bottoming for her. How can I check my ego so that we can get down to business?

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Herboi -

Giving advice about anxiety is not easy. The reason is that there is only one answer: Just do it and get over it!

Since your a butch you probably can respect that answer, but I'm going now to tell you something a little more painful... I think that you should look at your question again and think about why you chose the word "maintain" when referring to your top status.

Maintain: preserve from failure or decline (dictionary definition)

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Okay, Sssister, I finally took your advice, and it was fucking amazing. My girl and I were messin' around the other night, and all I had to do was whisper, "Your turn." and she totally flipped and we went for it. I strapped my dick onto her while she grinned ear to ear the whole time. It was like she was possessed by some strange cock-spirit, cuz she started swaggering and posturing immediately...I was totally hard. She slapped me across the face and told me to get on my knees. And I did. Then she worked me over real good and long and finally started fucking me from behind. There I am collared, crying, and cumming...and begging for more. It was outrageous. And I think you were actually right...I feel tougher for it, ya know? I think for me being butch meant not always getting what I wanted in sex...don't get me wrong, I love to fuck her. But this was a whole new level. I can't wait for the next time. Thanks.

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Swich is a divine thing, and so is having a femme who likes to fuck. I am a femme who likes to fuck. I hope I might help you by perhaps relating to your partner. I recently wed my beautiful butch top in June of 2001. We have phenominal sex, and sometimes I have to just take her....I have to bring her to the place that she has brought me over and over again.
I get a little frenzied after she has gotten me off. She is primarily the top because I allow it to be that way (I'd switch every time if I could..he he he)
I respect her need to be sexually dominant, and indulge it, but I often take the wheel, switch suddenly. It is so hot to touch a grrl, to taste her, to penetrate, and to pleasure her...It is fabulous to make her cum...especially a 'top'. I am so excited by 'top confidence', by the look, the strength, the grit of 'top' grrls. Your essence is of itself a turn on...and to pleasure you is truly the sexiest thing. I try extra hard to give my baby what every lesbian deserves- strong, nurturing love (still the best ingredient for extrordinary sex, in my opinion) and earth shattering orgasms. It is my pleasure to make my 'pitcher' into a 'catcher', and her squirming, squealing,thundering orgasms don't lie. Enjoy your partner's versatility. (I know that you do *wink)

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The ability to try new things is always appreciated by all worthwhile parties. I'm glad to hear you opened up, enjoyed the experience and can talk about it here :)

Sascha Illyvich
~~~
"Talking Sense" column at https://ssspread.com to be launched on
January 10th, 2003!

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