Dear Sister SSSpread,

My girlfriend and I broke up last March. I am still trying to get over her, and haven't been with anybody since. I feel I cannot handle the emotional involvement sex always brings. However, I am horny as hell! What to do????

Horny As Hell in Atlanta

Dear HAHIA,

Say it with me sisters: "One night stand sweetheart!" Listen, I know all that crap about folks who feel they simply can't have sex without getting emotionally involved Whatever! I hear Atlanta has a dyke scene that would put Sapphos' cave to shame, so get yourself gussied up and get out there just do me one favor and practice safe sex.

However, if you really feel you can't do the one night thing, Sister understands, all is not lost. Get some apparatus, and take advantage of yourself. Inserection (formerly 9 1/2 weeks) has ten stores in the Atlanta area. I had a lovely phone conversation with a gentleman there, and it seems they are queer oriented and have a dizzying selection of lube, strap-ons and dildos, among other things.

You must see shopping for a dildo much like shopping for the perfect pair of shoes. Don't be a cheapskate! Do as my Mother once told me: Think of your money as fun tickets not hard earned cash (Of course, Ma was referring to her hair stylist when she dropped this gem, but you follow along) The point is a good dildo cannot be scrimped on. The perfect dildo will look as good on the outside as it feels on the inside. Unlike shoes, Inserection will not let you try out (excuse me) try in dildos before purchasing, so I would recommend holding it in your hand and imagining your hand is your pussy.

Like a good pair of shoes, a dildo should look great, feel like a perfect fit, and inspire a certain level of comfort and excitement in your very being.

Sister SSSpread